Sunday, January 23, 2011

Church-by myself

Its hard to go to church when Justin's not home- A) if Satan had his way- we would still be sleeping- B) Its just plain hard to get a toddler out the door on time for anything- especially when ur named Megan! Heavens...but I was thinking- that I should probably talk about all this small trival stuff- so it may help someone sometime. The one thing Ive learned- God can use ANYTHING!
So Ive bee awake since 4am, if God wants to talk to me-He usually has me wake up by then- mostly3am though- and this morning was4. so it beggs me to wonder if it was HIm or if I just couldnt sleep alone very well- youd have to know- it gets kinda creepy in this house being the only "responsible" But anyhow-I wonder did God wake me this morning? Or was it the devil? The Devil- tring to make me tired so Ill say- Im not going- or God makinging sure I was awake before so I didn't have an excuse. Well- the devil and angel are on either side of my shoulder. So which do I do? I think Ill go on and go with my parents to their church today- I hate going alone to any church. You know I feel like no matter where I go when Im alone with SG people stare and if they know Im married they think -Well isnt that sad- he husband isnt saved so he wont come with her- like they have pity on me or if they look at me like Im not married because I look like Im 18 or 19 and sometimes maybe 21-anyway I look young enough to be the Nanny-and they all think I'm the unwed pregnant teen...and take pity on me.So face it- its the truth. I hate going to church alone- except as I write this God is saying in my head(well I think its God/Holy Spirit-its the loud voice I hear in my head)saying that you are NEVER really alone- especially in church. You have Jesus- with you. As long as your saved- saved is saved and you are always a child of God- and no one can chage that noting can change that-not even my subconcious devil Im imagining. I guess- for now- Ill plan to have a nap after church and lunch- hopefully this cup of coffee I am about to pur will help me get going-
Ive got at least 4hours till church today- so I have no excuses right?!lol

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