Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Who will take me as "we" are?

As Christians we are taught that everything bad, everything wrong, every shred of doubt worry or anxiety comes from the one whose sole purpose is to Steal, Kill, and Destroy. He is none other than the trouble maker, the temptation wrought fallen angel. Satan himself.
I was taking my Sara-Grace to her K4 program this morning, a morning that should have left me reeling with love and satisfaction and pride in getting us this far, maybe even a few tears-to cry for the Momma in me who sees the new born infant placed in my arms, and now sees a beautifully growing four year old. One would think, I would be all consumed with feelings of emotional imbalance from sending her off on this first day of PreK or in satisfaction in knowing I'm getting a schedule back and a routine rather than a fly by the seat of your pants kinda summer, I became wrought...with fear, aniety, and doubt.
I began to in the midst of my normal emotions, have thoughts of sadness. Sadness for the fact that it's me, alone. The sole parent to do all these things with her and for her. Although the burden is lifted for me, with the loving support of my family. The horrible thought crept in-of what if THIS IS IT? What is I'm it? What if I don't ever find love again, what if I am a SINGLE MOTHER for the rest of her life? What THEN? Panic stricken driving her to school I put on the Klove Christian radio station and hoped that the feelings of failure and self worth would subside, but it didn't. As I drove her all I could think about was me, selfishly me. And who will want me? I'm at the age where the single population of men either have been divorced and come with children or they have never been married and want children. How do I know that any of them will want me? and my child. Not just love me, but adore me-and my quirky honest no holds barr kinda way about me? Then I thought-I am lovable, I have that kind of personality that is outgoing and can usually find common ground with anyone-so for a moment I thought to myself. I'll be fine. Someone will love me... but will someone ove my child the way I do? will someone step up and be the Father to her? Will anyone ever see her the way I see her-? Will they see the blessing in her existence? Or will they see it as a baggage, like oh" yes I like Megan-and in order to like Megan or marry Megan I have to take on the responsibility of her four year old too...will they see that as a good thing? Truthfully?? I don't know, men who don't have kids...will they be satisfied in knowing that SG could be it?! That it's not like "oh we can always have more children together" because thats not so...
See as women we are born to the baby carriers-what if they find out I can't do that, what if they realize the cost of adoption and they are not open to more? I am so intent and satisfied with my one! would he? I see myself with more, some days, but would he? Adoption is a scary and expensive road, is it something he would want or I would want? What if he has kids too? Whats gonna happen if the kids and my kid don't get along? Whats gonna happen to my SG if she suddenly has siblings when she's never had them before. What's gonna happen if we decide to adopt later-will SG feel replaced? not sufficient? She's gonna struggle with that already. What in the world do I have to offer any man at this point except: Me and my Daughter. Will that be enough? Is it possible for a man to really want us both? and mean it? How will I know he means it? How will I know he's not like some of the others out there that just make an effort to love your child until they make you fall in love with them? OMG How will I know? How do I trust that? How can I trust him? How will I decipher all the feelings of guilt in asking him to provide for us both, asking him to be responsible for us both?
As I'm rattling all these thoughts-I calmly walk in to the school as if the chaotic questions are not bouncing around in my head. I put on a brave face, even though I wanted to cry. I held myself together in the sentiment of this being the start of a new school season- and SG is from a "broken" family. And I kiss her good bye, wish her a good day, and began to walk out.
It strikes me...I do have THAT man. THAT man who will wake me up every morning, and remind me of the beauty of my struggle. THE man, who will calm my fears, who will drown my sorrows and will lift me up on the days I am too weak to carry us. THAT man who is the perfect mate. THAT man who is the perfect father. THE man who will set an example for my child. THAT man who will make sure my standards are HIGH. THE man, who won't let me settle. THE man who will love Sara-Grace with a love even her Mother can't give. I already have THAT man. There is NO need to look any further. My defeat has been broken, my emptiness has been substituted with satisfaction. My anxiety has been delivered, my fears have vanished.
 HE is the exact opposite of the one who came to steal my joy this morning, HIS salvation is what saves me from that one who wants to kill me. HIS love and grace and mercy can repair any obstacle that was sent to destroy me...
I am reminded this morning-that any relationship needs One on One time. Needs to be nourished with time with the other. You need getaways, a honeymoon period, a time to fall in love. A time to build a foundation and trust and friendship. I am reminded of the times I have set aside by myself with Him. The proof in the letters He has written just for me. The times I have Him in music. The times I can dance in His presence. The journey I've gone back to-to renew my vows with HIM!
This-I'm guessing is what they call, revelation. That light bulb moment. One of the moments you look back on a realize-it finally just sunk in. THIS is what they have been talking about...

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Divorce Sucks! (this is more for the PG13/R Christian)

Well as Christians, we are told time and again, that God HATEs divorce. Least that's the report I get from all the people who do not know the entire situation, or who have been lead to believe that as well. The other thing I was lead to believe-was that there was only one unforgivable fault worth divorcing your spouse, and it was the big red letter "A" marked on your chest.
Well-it's not to hard to figure out that I disagree. I do not disagree with God- by any means, and I'm sure He hates divorce. As does every other person who has gone through one. But I have to say-in my time of prayer, and seeking God on this subject: I have found that divorce can be used as a "public way to admit one's fault, or wrong, or past mistake"( however you wanna sugar coat it) And I don't know about you- but the God I serve, He is Merciful and full of Grace and He love's a humble heart.
I believe when you go before God- you make a comitiment and you take a vow- you are making that between your spouse, AND God. And for all you judgmental divorce critics-I ask you to ask yourself if you have considered this: Just as I went before God- to ask if this was the person or time I was to marry them, I did the same thing about wanting outta the deal. Just like when I sought God-to give me an answer to guide me to THE person, I asked Him if I should renig on it. It was a carefully planned out thing- planned just almost as well as my wedding.
Now granted- in my seeking God's approval on men-in my life. I have not necessarily waited on the Lord's Divine answer. Often times I have totally jumped the gun, run to the arms of my flesh and forgot who I was and what my convictions are. saying that, yes God may hate divorce. But I think He equally hates my impatience.
I think the people we marry-often dictate where we are in life, not necessarily who we want to become, or who we feel called to be or the life we feel lead to live. At a certain point, you have to admit you cannot grow. And MOVE on. I don't believe we should be stifled by the mistakes we make. We should be allowed to use them and grow from them just like we are expected to do in our relationship with God. Just as if I were living in "sin" yesterday should dictate me "living in sin my whole life". At a certain point: certain people do not bring out the best in you, they may bring you down or they may do nothing at all except take the joy out of your spirit. I believe in marriage I do- I believe in monogamy and I believe that God set it up for a reason, to be a certain way. When you deviate from it or try and do it on your own terms it makes for a difficult challenging road. And truthfully the road I want to follow is the one that's paved in gold. I am saved, by the blood of  the lamb- and I assure you my divorce(s) are not the ultimate sin of all sins I have ever committed. I am a sinner-STRAIGHT up. Real as it gets and the only way I can rectify my mistakes is to own up to them and change my behavior. So-that's what this sorry no good divorce is doing.
Divorce SUCKS! It stinks, it blows-there's NOTHING good about it-except giving yourself and or your child(ren) the chance to be better than you were the day before.
If you have never been divorced-props to YOU, really- I intended at one point in my life to be just like you. I wish more than anything the happily ever after had panned out- and I have the knowledge now- to know- going into it. Who I am through God, who I want the new man to be in God and where I want our lives to end working for the glory of God- and I can't help but to think at some point down the road. Instead of my tragedy of a fail in a marriage,  it might just be the victory God uses to bring others to Him in a way- that people that refuse to talk about it or discuss it could.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

BACK in the game!

Ok ya'll- It's been quite the change in events since the last entry...I'm going to be back blogging again- and will be letting you know best I can what you have missed! I am now a "statisticly single mother" and have lots to say about what NOT to do- and how this whole new chapter in our lives has been going. So once again-I'll back track...but today is NOT the day for this LONG story-or any of it.
So-In short I will say... My Sara-Grace and I are in a really good place. My focus has been on building a solid foundation which the only way to do is through God! His GRACE is overflowing and His Mercy ABUNDANT!
Like I have said so many times before: Grace is God Giving us what we don't deserve and Mercy is Him NOT giving us what we do deserve!
Thank YOU God for second chances upon second chances and upon more chances-My stance is FIRM, my expectations ARE GREAT, and so far-I have only found ONE MAN strong enough to provide what I am requiring for me and my precious baby-who ya'll is NOW FOUR!! That Man-is our Savior! I've been born again for many years-but in the last few God has been working on me-requiring me to be something more. Calling me to do something (which is) I know for one-teaching Sara-Grace what to be in a Godly Woman, and servant of Christ! I must be who I think she should be-I must be married to the man I think she deserves and I mus live a life that I think she is worthy of living... So that all being said. The story continues. The book should be written-for the chapters keep getting better and better. Thankful for my constant support system, my family, my friends, and my groups that hold me accountable! Keep your eyes open- as I find some time-to get back in the swing of this writing thing-and share how God's moving and using us!

Friday, July 20, 2012


Hello Mommas-
this may be a repeat email for some of you- but I have had problems with my gmail recognizing some addresses which I cannot recieve confirmation on and want ALL of you to see this.
I will verify this all by text for you too. Most all of you New Gals got a phoe call this past week- so I hope u have whatever questions answered. I know my verteran moms know how I opperate and generally wait for a text and follow the lead! (they r good like that :)) So heres a bit about us- where we are in our lives- why we do this and whats to plan for:
I started at ECA in Elm School. Then as I entered Highschool I met my boyfrriend at 15years old. We dated all thru school and he played football and I danced on the Wings Daneline. Now some of you may not know this- which is hard for me to say- but ECA was a National Championship Team at one point- and they actuall were in a classification out of our league and still were the ones to beat! Go Eagles! But there was a time between 1997-2000/2001 that ECA NEVER LOST A FOOTBALL GAME. Now thats a record worth being proud of- and that Chapionship ring with all the bling and diamonds I got to wear on my necklace is impressive for sureno matter how old you are. Any rate- is it obvious I have great memories of this place and am totally sold out to ECA. But I never thought this would be the side of the field Id be on. After our HS Graduation-2001 my boyfriend and I became engaged/married: He's Justin "Big Mac " McIntyre- I used to be Megan Heiserman. Anyway- we got married the Christmas after graduation- that year we moved to Illinois because Justin had a full football scholarship to a Division One School in the MAC Confrence Northern Illinois University  west of Chicage(your husbands will have more knowledge about this girls) I went onto the University of Chicago School of Dentistry where I took my studies. But there we were just starting out so far from home. To keep this shorter- Justin was majored in Kinesiology where he would become a college football coach- and I was working in denatl offices and planning to be a Mother- who stayed home one day/
Then I gues with all the stress in my life- at 21 It triggered something in m where I started experiencing alot of abnormal symptoms-like shortness of breath an dizzyness and blurred vision- and I was trying to see my doctors here in town for a diagnoisis. After a time- I as diagnosed with  Heart/Nurological Condition (for all our medical Mommas) with Neurocardiogenic Syncope- aand was constantly having a rapid heartrate which man wore me out! After about 3 years in Illinois- Justin flipped a switch and decided to be backhome in Shreveport-so here-back we were. Taking medication and lifestyle changes I was doing pretty well and expected to be fine. Then in 2008- while I was driving my car( and Justin was working offshore at the time) I was getting onto I-20 right in fornt of Earnest- u know- headed downtown people- SERIOUSLY on the overpass how many feet above ground? I was talking to Mom on the cell when she heard me drop the phone- and she'll tell you the Holy Spirit told her to come find me. She and my Dad listened on the phone to all the road noise then heard the knocking of a woman who was asking if I was alright. By this point my Mom had gotten there to my crash site and was able to tell the ER what was going on. Can you believe my foot fell off the gas when I went unconcious and my car slowly drived across the lanes of traffic until it got to the railing and scrapped down the rail until it finally just stopped. Needless to say it could have been bad. After the hospital visit- we found out I had suffered a Sudden Cardiac Arrest- and stats show- only like some 5% of people ever regain conciousness after that. But By the grace of God I did-my cardiologist basically put me on the schedule to do surgery for a few weeks later. Now back up a minute- we were tring to hav a baby during all this time before I dropped  dead-lol. I had, two misscarriages and was starting vaious fertility treatments trying to see how to go from there- So back to the current- The Dr schedules me for surg. and says- Go home- Dont strain or lift anything- and dont come back pregnant. He says- I'm sorry- I know you want a baby- but you wont be able to have any this way-Megan. It will be too  hard on your heart.
So we wait- for that Day in November. Quietly- I didnt tell many people except close friends and family- because honestly I was scared- and I thought if I did die- I didnt want my parents to be overwhelmed with people at the hospital- So-as the weeks approached- we recieved a phonecall telling us that Justin's Mom had a friend who had a family member who was expecting a baby who needed parents. They ask-are we intrested- and OF COURSE we were- not knowing anything or having any money set aside or anything. Low and behold-yall and you can only believe this story-because your Christians because Im telling you its too awesome! Two weeks before my surgery we met with the birth family- and decided mutually that this was something we all wanted to pursue. So we got the ball rolling with attorneys and friends doing favors. I had my surgery and we didnt tell anyone- keeping my heath a secret in hopes it wouldnt make them change their minds about us- and while I was in surgery the Dr end up repairing the flaw- Then two weeks after that while at home recovering- our baby girl Sara-Grace Elizabeth was born.(Sara-because she was the one in the Bible who had a baby in Gods timing- and Grace-by the Grace of God-she was given to us.Seriously) So we were at the hospital, and althogh it wasnt the way I imagined it being-it was a beautiful answer to so many of Gods prayers. We brought our baby home from the hospital and I went to Cardiac Rehab building my strength. all the while Mom had Sara-Grace in her carrier in that waiting room day in and day When I was finally stong enough my Drs suggest I have a complete Historectomy so after 6months I went in for that. After recovering from so much-it finally seemed like things were calming down a bit.
Then after much prayer- we were dicussing school options- and I said- well I dont think there is a Elm Dance group. Finding out more I realized they were willing to have me build one-so with the baby on my hip- we statarted out in our first season of Glory Girls. Mind you-my Mom always thinks my being a dance teacher is an answer for her prayers because I was a baby who was born with a hip and knee rotation and had to wear braces on my legs-so Mom gets such happiness seeing Im able to teach dance. Which if our story just topped there- it would be AMAZING nonetheless. But it doesnt. Last season: My Mom-Judi Heiserman was complaining of chest pains.After what we knew about me: we urged her to see a dr who thought it may be angina, we were all watching closely and after a Friday football game-that following Sat morning-she sufers a cardiac arrest of her own. Now thankfully, my Dad was a witness and he and my nephew able to give CPR while she was unconcious. Unlike me-I came right back out of it, alone in my car-God restared my heart-but Moms had the defibulator. Well this changed things this time- and I remember finding all this out- and deciding then-Mom was going to die. That God couldn't save both of us. He wouldn't save us both. I had survived and now we were loosing her. Then God told me I was putting limitations on Him. That He was able to move mountians. And so my mindframe began to change. I immediatly called a Glory Girl Mom- and asked her to call the team and have all parents pray. Then and there: I let the church know I needed them to hit their knees. So by that Sunday Morning-Phillip lead that service into prayer for her.The entire congregation all together as so many others were that day-lifting Mom up in prayer. Well she survives-too. To tell her story. After Mom undergoing open heart bypass surgery for a artery in spasm. She was coming back into conciousness and that woman- still had her arm taped to a board and was waking up. I said-Momma-youve survived. Your going to be ok. She took her little arm and slowly raising it slowly spoke and in a very shallow and strained voice says-GIVE GOD THE GLORY.... and I knew she was back! So after the tables had turned-I drove my Mom to the cardiac Rehab. I had Sara-Grace in the waiting room while she was rebuilding her strength and this past off season after football was getting her strength and body back to normal. So needless to say- we shut down this last year. Im so grateful for my Mommas in prayer with me and the understanding they gave while we were dealing with this. It was truly where I was soposed  to be at the time so Id have the support Id need at that time...So in learning more about us- and why our hearts are so involved in this- The Glory Girls get to see me and Sara-Grace and Momma at all the practices helping out-and the girls get to see how it's a good thing to have a relationship with your Mom-so we are builing so many healthy relationships. I remember when I was recovering-and my Mom said:Megan-if I could take your pain from you I would. If I could do it for you I would-and its the unconditional love a Mother gives that will give u the desire to do that for Sara-Grace. When Mom was lying in the hospital God spoke to my heart telling me to tell her-that she did. She was able to make the sacrifice for me- for her daughter. Hopefully now they can learn from her condition and keep me from going through the same thing-and keep me here long and well to be the mother Sara-Grace was soposed to have all along. So I know this story is redundant to some of you- but MORE THAN HALF of you are new to the squad this year- and thats more than half who needed this LONG email to tell you where we stand in the midst of all of this. Seriously I cannot describe the blessings God has give my family-but with these blesssings comes the responsibility I believe to share the testimony. So now- u know a bit more about us-and how we feel like there has been so much to be had- but the "Best is always Yet To Come!"
CAMP DATES: will be this next THURSDAY /FRIDAY and SATUERDAY. drop off THURSDAY (1-6p) Drop off Friday 1-6, but the girls will have a "lock in" to spend the night there overnight. So you essentially will send the girls Friday and pick up Saturday at NOON. When we are schedulde to put on a preformance and "show off" what they learned. So make sure to pack overnight on Friday- and make sure to be back for the show by NOON Sat. afternnoon to head home!
** we have instructors comming from The Shreveport Met. Ballet, and a niece of mine from Misourri State who is flying down to teach and a Wings alumni and of course me-teaching the girls the basics of team spirit-and basic dance formations- basic dance moves and what they will need to work on. They will learn some dance routines too.
COST$$$: As most of you knew before school was out- we'd have Camp Cost- and believ me: Ive stretched it AS LONG as I can-but $100 is due this week. You may mail a payment-or cash/check or whatever to me directly: Make any checks payable to me:Megan McIntyre- where you can mail it to 178 Patton AVe Shreveport 71105. In normal circumstances local mail comes next day-but if you feel like you may not can make the deadline- feel free if you r on this side of town to stop and drop in my mailbox like so many of you have already done (thank you) My house is between youree dr and kings-across from the duckpond sandwiched between the pond and ACSteere. I have to order the girls Camp t-shirts-and pay our teachers and buy some things for gifts and prizes and snacks and all before our big weekend! So make sure you get your's to me ASAP. You will need to let me know- what size your daughter is-so I can order the tshirt for her. You may email or text 344-3750 or attach a memo to your payment.
YOU NEED to purchace: Black Jazz Pants(full length) and Black Jazz shoes( either the lace up or slip on ankl height will be fine) and if they need socks-make sure you include black ones please. You can send the girls Thursday in anything on top- and I will pass out shirts then. You can find these items at Shreveport Gymnastics or Academy Sports.This will carry them onto the school year.
PLAN FOR: packing water bottles or drinks Thursday-and feed lunch before they arrive. We will have a snack provied mid way thru. Friday plan to send sleeping bags-PJs-and the following FUN PARTY ITEMS: ur favorite movie-(well watch as many as we can-lol)your favorite nail polish-(well attempt to have a polish party)and your favorite suffed animal.(just because some girls r going to be staying away from Momma the first time) PS-u r welcome to stay with us if your child needs u to-
PAYMENTS: The school wanted all dues paid up front this year before school even started but I know that is hard for many of us on a budget so I have planned two payments. The minimum inital fee of $200 will be DUE SATURDAY at camp like last year. I will b measuring the girls for uniforms which I will need to order and get delivered in time with props and poms and all the cute accesories Im planning for them. The remaining $200 will be due at th first after school practice.If we need to make any payment arrangements-between me you and the althetic department we can make plans for that if you need to-but we will need the full first payment for your deposit. This year we will be including the whole school year, so after the fball season ends and school starts back in the new year GGs will be in full swing like normal
(-most spirit groups end after fball season)
SAVE THE DATE: For our 2nd Annual Mother/GMother Tea at Moms house(503 Forest Ave Shreveprt71104) We get all dressed in hats and prissy and pull out the china tea cups and silver so well have a date to remember. It will be great for the girls Saturday August 11th right before school starts for them to get to have some friends to have in common and for all us Moms to meet eachother. You will recieve a formal invitation to the TeaParty at camp. 
SCHOOL STARTS: and our first afterschool practice will be Monday Aug.20 2:45-5. What happens on Mondays-will be you send ur childs practice uniforms with them. I will pick them up afterschool in the front foyer by the couches- I will take them to the bathroom and change and walk them over to the gym. This year we will give the girls a snack and then practice til 5pm where you will pick up in the gym. Practices will be every Monday after school from the 20th on.

That should sum up the announcements for now-
I know this e-mail was long-but I felt like it needed to be told to the new families joing our team. We are looking forward to all the plans for this season and all the memories we will be making-and a hope or two we might end the fball season with a trip to the Superdome! It'll be lots of fun and we are looking forward to meeting you and your girls.... Looing forward to joining you to our family this week!
Megan Heiserman McIntyre

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Twinkle Twinkle little star...

Well-here is a new piture from tonight, with two of my favorite people. It brings me to my point-not to diminish them two- and I can say all this because they know my heart and I am not saying they are insignificant at all because they know how purposeful I think they each are-especailly to me. But I say all that to say this: whn I got this picture sent to me via Facebook tonight- I couldnt help but do what every woman does each time they see themselves, a reflection of what they see. You scrutinize your looks, your posture, and your outfit or hair- and you dont even mean to do it- it just happens naturally. Its almost instinctive to be critical of yourself -I think how thats more crazyI am even willing to dive into. But-back on the subject at hand: I looked at this picture- and I thought for a brief glace- hummm who's that blonde who caught my eye first? the one in the middle-me(im talking about-wink wink-dua!) but I thought-hummm she's attractive-and then I realized in that same instance it was me-after I made the picture big enough on my cell phone to really see the darn thing(like I hate it when i get a picture on there that is as big as literal "thumbnail" it makes me have catarac problems) but-after I saw it- I sighed a bit and thought- ohh , its only me.
Then-it was like the Lord spoke to my spirit-once again. And said to me-look how without posing-or planning where to stand or what positions to make- naturally because of positioning at the party I ended  up in the middle of the picture. (just like my Momma always said- I ended up in the middle of the Wings dancleine formations in highschool preformances just because of my size and or height or whatever) but I somehow make it to the middle-or least this time specifically. Anyway-God says to me-Megan: of course you are my shining light. You were the one who stood out because that is what I expected you to do. To stand out- but for God-. Be the confident , attractive, woman-I created you to be- be confident though in this image to represent me. You have been given this as a gift-that uncanning ability to walk into a room and be noticed. That ability comes with great responsibility-to be the one who will speak up for what God has done for me- what He has forgiven ME for and what He has done to save me and my poor undeserving soul. But I have a responsibility and a duty-to carry the confidence of Christ.
When Jesus had to carry the cross to his death hill (I made that up just now-kinda like death bed-lol) but when Jesus was walking there- He was hunched over and tiredsome and worndown and beated and scorned. You know- for a King- He didnt walk very proud. Or stand up tall. Or kill them with kindness-she showed his weakness and flaws and saddness and pain. And a new perspective was laid upon my heart: to think that I am hypethetically Jesus  re-incarnated.(I CERTIANLY do not mean I am Jesus- but you get the point) but if Jesus lives in me- and dwells within me- then isnt my body the way He can now walk in pride? Think about it-not in a pridefull mannr- but with pride I should say- If this was like the movie Ghost or something and Jesus literally came into your body and took it over for a day- do you really picture Him walking around with that same saddness or pain He had on that cross?
No-I dont. I think He would carry His new found shell with a sense of pride for what He acomplished in making it. He would let the world see Him- and let the shell work in His favor and draw people in and draw their attention, and bring the closer and get to know them and listen to them and care for them and share the things He learned and the wonderful things His Father gave Him already and the excitement of what is to come with meeting Him back on the other side.
So- wow- there is a crazy long-round about way- of saying: We all posess this dont we? We all have this ability to use our shell and shine our light for God. And I'm just beginning to realize and really comprehend exactally what that responsibility entails....
                                                                                            Until Next Time-

Monday, February 13, 2012

TheShreveport Times FRONT pg LIVING sect: Says: TWO MIRACLES, ONE FAMILY-but the truth is:the list of Miracles in our family r too numerous2count...

this is what I posted under the article for The Shreveport Times in the article posted this week:

I'm sure you can all tell by now- that I DO NOT re-read and proff any of my articles bc I know I would over think and edit ALOT due to being scared to step on toes- or to offend people and to just plain- try and conform to what the world thinks I should say.

I'm in prayer constantly over when to write and when to post and what to say-
If God goves me a word- I write it, and I try very very hard to make sure its not what I want to say but what He HAS me say,
I felt like I needed to walk through that door and let God use me to post whatever the following words were for whoever needed them.
After a few days and comments later- I took the time- and very emotionally read it to my Mother- who was very emotional as well- and together over the phonecall read the following article I posted there for the world to read.
These are sincere words from my heart- and without any forethought I posted them publically. I have NEVER had the guts to do that before this blog- or the postitive renforcement from you all in passing.
I know many hearts have been touched- including mine and that of my family. But I also want you all to know that I do this- I speak MY truth as I see it, and although my views may not be like yours, I ask you to take the moment to try and see where I come from. The position I am in.... and how God has given me NO CHOICE but to be the person to stand up- even if I am really knealing over my computer right now- trying to hurry off to bed- but....
You have to see... my words are my way to express to truth.
My truth is: that GOD is who saved me, and us and ALL of you who are my closest friends. So many of our lives have been changed if not by MY story but by the one I share for Sara-Grace or of my Mother.
Heres the article and a link to TST Article by Melody Brumble:
Thank you for your positive feedback! We ARE all very very Blessed and Thankful that we have been able to have a new chance at life, and in enjoying our family together. My favorite part about supporting the AHA in town is because the monies raised here stays here. Like so many have stated before-but I can testify to the fact that in the recent years since my involvement in the GoRed Campaign I have benefited from the research and findings at our local LSU Med Center Heart Disease CAN and will strike anybody. It can be yourself or your Mother and anyone in between. It can affect your life and will of those around you. It presented a problem for me most women my age NEVER think about-and ultimatly forced me to rethink the plans for parenthood my husband and I had always dreamed of. It was at the time of my Cardiac Arrest and Surgery we learned of our miracle gift from God- "Sara-Grace Elizabeth" and how God gave me the love of a Mother so I would get strength to care for a new baby I would bring home from the hospital just a mere few weeks after my heart surgery. Just when I thought my heart was breaking-it was being healed when God sent a family to give us the "gift" we thought by then we would never recieve. I tell Sara-Grace all the time that she's healed my heart-she gave me a reason to live and a reason to push through the hard days and a reason to be stronger and better. It was MY mother who helped me through that difficult time, of learning how to become a mother while relearning how to live my life and the new lifestyle changes I would have to make. One thing my Momma always said when I had those inevitable bad days-she said if there were any way she could do this for me she would...she would say-you will too Megan. With Sara-Grace you will too be willing to do anything for her so that she won't hurt. Sometimes you can't though. I know as a Mother it must have been difficult to watch me go through in the past few years we have been getting back to a "New Normal". It was when I stood over my Mom's bedside right after she had been taken off life support and was breathing on her own, that I realized it had happened! She DID save me, she HAS put herself through something so I would maybe not have to. Until Mom's Cardiac Arrest-I had been the only family member diagnosed with a Heart Disorder or Condition. But after her diagnosis and after we have learned so much about her condition the end result is exactally what she taught me. As a Mother- you will do what you have to- to save your child. Mom has done that for me by paving the way so maybe I won't ever have to. It in turn has made me so grateful for what she's willing to do for me-and ultimatly for my child. Every day we have-is another day to make a differnce. It starts in your own family though. I have seen what Heart Disease can do to just one family, and can see how among a family of broken hearts how a family of healed hearts can come out of it. We can help stop this for other families. I know thats why we have this story to tell, because of ALL the people who you would think had heart disorders we may be the last ones. Certianly not. Heart Disease shows no discrimination. It can happen to anyone. At ANY time and for ANY reason. You can do many things now to help improve your chances and stay healthy-but you can also fall prey after doing it all right. You have to be educated for either of those senarios. You need to recognize the warning signs of your body and those of the people you love. When something is "off" you need to take notice. If you don't feel right you need to speak up, and if you don't get the answers you may be looking for- listen to that "inner voice, or Holy Spirit" heed-your bodies warnings. Heed your Doctors warnings stand up for yourself. Sometimes as women we put our own needs last. I will do whatever I have to so that MY child will have a Mother. I will make sure I put myself in th ebest possible environment so that my daughter will not have to grow up motherless. I've seen my Mother fight. And not for herself because she's to humble for that. But I've seen her stand in to the fight for me...which gives anyone who hears our story a new perspective. I though for sure we would loose Mom this time- I thought after my story of salvation and adopting our daughter was the best God could do-but I see my faith wasn't even that of a mustard seed as of yet and look at what I was given. A second chance at life, a chance at Motherhood, and now a story to help make a difference. I appriciate the time taken to read my words, certianly not gramarically correct-and certianly not politically correct. But after you have been through what we've been through-sometimes you have no other choice but to sing God's Praise. -Megan-Ashley Elizabeth Heiserman McIntyre Read my Facebook site set up to share my story for more details: Graciecakes with Glistening Grace

Mother, daughter survive heart disorders scar in the middle of Judi Heiserman's chest is the only visible reminder of the day her life hung in the balance.LikeUnlike · · Unfollow PostFollow Post · Saturday at 12:04pm

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

I had to "update" my info section on my personal FB profile: it is redundant in some spots-but I negate:

Our story is amazing- Heart surgery and a baby within a month! A historectomy within that same year! Wheeeewww! Its been quite a ride! I'm glad it's starting to get "normal" around here!! Remembering life before our daughter, all we went through before her. Now-Im realizing that all the things we went through was just making me the person I needed to be, so that I could be the mother I should be. I am married to my highschool sweetheart, Justin McIntyre a.k.a. "Big Mac" we are about to celebrate 15yrs together now. We have a mentally challenged partially blind maltise-Bruizer we brought home from Illinois when Justin played football for NIU.And after 13 wonderful years with her,we have just sent our Angel to be with the Lord(my present Justin bought me for Christmas when we were 16yrs old!My puppy w/a big red bow,best present till 2008 for sure!) We live here in Shreveport, in Broadmore in our "dream house" I started dreaming we'd start a family in over fifteen years ago. God RESTORED my marriage and gave me the husband I had always prayed for from the best friend I'd always had. We have adopted our "miracle" daughter Sara-Grace Elizabeth McIntyre and love being parents. I love watching how she can melt my husbands heart. We prayed and endured alot and are thankful and humble that we finally,after many years together have her. If you haven't heard the whole story please read my post on FB: Graciecakes with Glistening Grace and BlogSpot: Meganisms. That year was a hard one and a wonderful one at the same time. I was recovering from my heart surgery and welcoming home a baby at the same time. When God does it-He does it BIG!I am just now getting my energy back from the heart surgery and a full historectomy all in one year! Its taking me this past few years of intense physical rehab physical therapy and MULTIPLE day surgeries and medication concoctions to try and repair damages done to my body from the endometriousis and heart disease I never knew I had and to get my energy back and be cleared to start building my confidence back in driving! Who woulda known it would be two full years before driving alone again?! Its been the best thing though-letting myself depend on God, and my husband more. Letting me learn my limitations I never would have in a million years thought in my 20's I'd have had this all done and be reeling through the emotions of all of it! Justin worked offshore until recently,after he finished college from NIU and our stent in Illinois for a few years(shout out ya'll Yankee friends). Currently I am still a stay at homemaker, mom and craft queen. This past year I've been working on getting my strength back and embarked on starting a new dance program at Evangel. After months of prayer I realized I was being called to go back to where our story began-I am so enjoying starting the Elm dance "Glory Girls" and being able to give back to the place that gave us so much-and where all my most happiest memories are. I love being back dancing and taking my daughter to the school to show her where mommy and daddy began-teaching her who God is and surrounding her with the beauty of God's creations. I know so many lives have been changed including our own by some of the choices we have made and not made, and I am happy to say that with the grace of God-He is using ALL of them to help bring people to Him. I'm so grateful for loving patient people that support me and anything I tend to get myself into.My close handful of family and friends I let into our secret society. We are both turning 30 this year while our Sara-Grace is turning 3, so many things are starting to make sense and so many words I am taking right back-now that I have been humbled enough before God to admit that my parents were so very right on so very much. I am a big volunteer for the American Heart Association here in Shreveport and am a headlining spokes person- where I make multiple TV appearances and magizine interviews and small group womens and bible groups. Basically anyone who wants to have me tell my story: I feel led by God to do whatever I can to shout it from the rooftops. I was diagnosed with heart disease when I was 21, without any family history or reason to believe thats what diagnosis I would have, within months was diagnoised with a heart condition and endometriousis near the same time and its drastically changed our lives. Between the two most tragic diagnosis I could have imagined. Endometriousis is a painful female disease which not only affects your physical well being but also your fertility. After years of surgeries and fertility treatments and rounds of cemotherapy and the loss of two babies-I think God made it abundantly clear to me that persuing a pregnancy was't going to be my "traditional" way of becomming a mother. I was heart broken in more ways than one. After many second opinions and doctors from all over the United States-I finally had to heed my cardiologist warnings when I suffered a sudden cardiac arrest (aka-heart attack-but when you completly drop dead,sounds bad-yes-bc it is) while I was behind the wheel of my car driving on an overpass on the interstate. God saved me that day and gave me the one thing a few days later I'd always wanted. The knowledge of the baby I'd always prayed for. Justin and I and our friends and families rallied in prayer to see us through an emotional time but one we kept very private-because I didn't want to cause a fuss or draw attention to myself or people think I was wanting the attention on or for myself. But things changed for me when a few months ago-after I had been the ONLY one with these diagnosis in my family-my Momma -Mrs. Judi Heiserman dropped dead from a sudden cardiac arrest as well. Because I have a father who is in love with my mother they are still together like newly weds and he-was thankfully there to help SAVE her while breathing oxygen to her brain and organs until the paramedics could defibulate her heart into starting again. Then- in a set of circumstances I found myself SO FIMILAR in. - I didn't keep it quiet. I decided that the only chance my mom may have at survival was the prayer from the same people who prayed for me-and it gave me such a new appriciation of what my parents and loved ones must have felt when I had this exact senario happen three years prior. I have since decided that it is my responsibility as a Christian believer-that I am to tell EVERYONE of what God has done. Not just for me- but these blessings and blessings upon blessings God is giving my family. How can I say I am so blessed after so much many people ask me-and my reply is always the same. I prayed for another chance with my husband, for another chance to say and do all the things that I'd wished I had and to seek forgiveness from the wrongs I had made. I asked God for a baby-and to be a mother, and even though she didn't grow in my womb SHE IS the baby that I always was praying for. And when I was on my knees asking God how to handle the death of my mother he gave me hope in answering my prayers and saving her life as He had mine, so how can I NOT feel blessed. Heart disease can strike anybody at any age and is the #1 killer among women above breast cancer. I am very intrested in changing the way the world views the face of heart disease, and education in prevention.We have had a wonderful life together and are best friends and really looking forward to living the testimony that God has planned for us."The Best is Yet to Come". Please hit me up-ask me whatever questions ! My life is an open book- God gave me this testimony because I'd be outspoken enough to share it! LOL. Seriously!