Monday, August 1, 2011

Uncertian-but CERTIANLY true...

Well how busy it has been here. We are on the job hunt. Tring to locate a job worth taking- to bring our Daddy home. I am so blessed that I have the man in my life that actually WANTS to be home with me right? I have so many thoughts about such a life changing moment in our lives. As the oil spill in the Gulf has changed so many lifes of families who's jobs were effected-it's strange to think after this many months- that it's still affecting lives. Of all those who have lost their livelyhood just after it happened, and the miltitude of wifes who's husband who could't provide for them- after one spill- and the multitude of children who's daddies didn't have jobs, its hard to imagine that we are potentially in the same perdiciment. Now-after all the layoffs that we survived. Round one- then two and then round three. Of the men who were demoted or "bumped" down or like us-the ones who's hours changed so drastically-these few of us families who survived. We have been so grateful that we just had a daddy with a job. When the 14on and 14 off then switch to 21 on and 21off we remained happy that we just had a "job". The time has come where- a decision has to be made-in weighing-how worth all the effort and time spent away really all is.
Now-that all the rigs are moving overseas-to employee the thousands of non american men-who I am sure need jobs-it's becomming more clear to me that this American woman- wants her American man at home.
As this chapter-in our lives is unfolding, it's kinda scarey to think of walking away. Or waiting til the final layoff finally reaches us. We are all affected. The household conversations that are taking place everywhere right now-I know that our problems seem so small. So even looking at this as just a season of change. The decisions and things that need to be addressed are scarey and so adult-I can't help but to remind myself of how far we have really come. That we are finally old enough to make life changing decisions like this- or to have life altering events make them for us. I am just glad that no matter what happens or what's decided. That I have my family- that at least wants to be together. I know that with so much that is yet undecided-I know that the one thing that IS, is that God will provide. I look around me and remember that God did- provide me with what I needed. He gave me the strength to rise above my health and give me a reason to become strong, He gave me the daughter that I was ALWAYS meant to have, and He gave me the husband that would be strong enough for the both of us on the days that I am not- and He has given me the tangable reminder of my Faith-in this precious gift in Sara-Grace. I can't help but to look around this house, and down the hall at my daughter's room that is finally filled with the baby I had always dreamed of- and with so much uncertianlty-He had given me CERTIAN truth. The TRUTH that He is always with me, and that none of this is by chance. None of any of this is by chance, and that He is the one that is in control. And I am just so grateful that-when moments like this rock my boat-and the waves of doubt rush over me- the calm in the storm is steadfast and true. The Lord is with me....

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