Friday, February 11, 2011

When will I learn? To keep my big mouth SHUT??

OKay- I have throughly embarrassed myself and have turned myself in "that" girl. The "pysco" girl that everyone avoids- that I avoid! O.M.G. I still days later cannot BELIEVE I did all this- for a lack of a better word- I had "direaha" of the mouth! Again-O.M.G.
So here's the jist of what went down. You see- my bestie is out of town- our schedules have not allowed us much time to "girl" talk and catch up with one another- you girls know how that goes-but anyway- Justin is a close second but hence he's NOT a girl. So I've been starved for attention in the "gf" (girl friend) "bff"(best friends forever) department.
I met someone new- someone that looks pretty promising. A girl-similar in age, and similar interest etc. So I think- Hey this could work out, and we could be friends here(not to take the place of my bestie or anything though) and she and I agreed to do lunch. What do I do- when asked what resturant to meet at? I suggest a NEW local Bistro which my "bestie" introduced me to. Love Love Love this new place on Line Ave. for you locals,but I just was thinking when I suggested it- that it was a pleasant place to go- and personally I liked the "carrot soufle" so much that selfishly wanted to go again and get some more. So we agree to meet at this place a few days later.
I am the first one there and have a table for two waiting- then as I wait- it HITS me! Like a slap in the face- that I look and feel like I'm on a first date with someone, and it dawns on me that this could be cheating. Now follow me here- but I got to thinking there in this restaurant by myself at lunch hour- that since my "best friend" brought me here and introduced me to this joint- that mabe I shouldn't tell her I brought someone else, then I start thinking tht mabe this resturant was a bad idea- maybe we should have gone somewhere else-mabe this place should be reserved for lunches with my bestie- and wondered to myself- if this was CHEATING????
So in walks my date- and my "butch" like self stood up to hug her hello- and offically our date began......
Well- we chat a bit, and move onto ordering- and the convo is going well- then we exchange a little about ourselves, and although she already knew about my heart condition etc, I went into a few more details about the adoption, and answered some questions about it, then came the whopper- I just tottally don't know what I was thinking- but went off and told all my business, I told her all the personal stuff you don't tell your mother- you know all the personal stuff that you only trust with your husband or if your lucky your very close very trusted girlfriend. Now my reasoning for not telling isn't like yours- I don't think anythings a secret. My life is an open book and thats one way- people that know me appriciate me- they know I don't lie because I can't- I can only tell the truth and you take it or leave it. But the point I try and avoid is looking like that "psyco" because when you tell your family business' and air you and your dogs inadaquecies, you come off looking like you have serious family disfunction! Now I am no where above having to admit- my family has it's disfunction- it does, but mostly that part of our family we don't have much to do with. The parts that define our family disfunction- and I -don't speak much anymore in reality. My family is pretty functional now- now years later, that all the dust has settled, so why would I even back track and air all that stale moldy dirty laundry?
I cannot even imagine what I was thinking except A) maybe I felt comfortable with this girl- but B) It could have been that I have not seen that girl friend of mine in awhile so I was subconciously reaching out for that female friendship. So at this point I am starting to think that Iv'e said too much- and thinking there is absolutly NO WAY this chick will want to do ANYTHING with me again. We walk out tward the cars, and bid eachother farewell and say well do this again sometime.
So I drive home and I am thinking I definatly fit the profile of that creeper stalker psyco disfunctional weirdo now at this point and I will NEVER hear from her again, and I tell Justin all about this lunch and he agreed. We figured she was right now telling her husband about the same thing when he asked her how the lunch went- and she was saying- "that this girl ended up being such a weirdo."
So goes on the next few days.....
The more I think about it the more embarrassed I become. The fact that I came across as this crazy girl- and you have to understand- I know that everyone that KNOWS me knows that I AM werid, and even quirky but I'm not a creeper-at least I don't think so normally- so I don't know anything else to blame my actions on except like I told my husband- "It's my heart condition" I was nervous and I know my blood pressure was elevated and the only thing I can figure is that when my blood pressure and heartrate get wacky- I kinda go out of body-I like don't think before I speak (like more so than normal) and I can't control myself-and it gets me all worked up and excited- so since I am so embarrassed on this one-for the very first time I will blame my heart condition for my actions- even though I know the blame falls on my mouth...
So how does the story end? Just like a date-I had something to tell her- an event that we are mutually intrested in is comming up and I had to get her some info and text her. And what happens? She did NOT text me back- hours go by and as each passing hour- Justin would say "Oh Megan- you've really screwed this one up-" or "ohhh she's over there telling her husband this girl is a stalker now-and trying to find a way to get rid of me" and "that you knew Megan, that wasn't appropriate -first date-conversation" and every hour that goes by without a text in reply- I am becomming more and more embarrassed and asking myself why didn't I listen to all those years of advice from my mother? And just think before I speak? Why couldn't I have just smiled and knodded and just let her know the bare essentials and not the moldy dirty laundry?
Then a day later- after I have come to the final conclusion that I will NEVER hear from this chick- I get a response. A positive response, and a plan to see eachother again- so maybe just maybe she was able to look past the "creeper" part of me and see that the true beauty of my character-being truthful!???!!!!

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